Stress-Free Life (2b of 10)

1. Create Boundaries

        1a. “Uh, you forgot your monkey”

        1b.You get in life what you TOLERATE 
2. Be the Master of Your Universe
        2a. Feel it… really feel it.

     To access previous installments click here

2b. The GRAND Illusion… be fooled no longer.

Have you ever been incredibly stressed out about something, then after it was over wondered why you got so worked up about it?

Why does one activity terrify and debilitate one person yet excite and strengthen another?

What is the difference between what one person finds stressful and another finds fun and joyous?

The answer: Nothing. 

 

There is nothing different about the thing or the activity.  The difference is the illusion you create about it.

This is the shocking and harsh truth: There is no such thing as stress, it is an illusion.  An illusion YOU create. 

I’m not saying your feelings and experiences of stress are not real. I get you might be very stressed out. I am simply suggesting you are feeling and experiencing it because of an illusion your mind has made up about it… and that illusion is NOT real. Once your mind realizes it is not real, neither will be the stress.

It is not the event or circumstance that “causes” stress – it is you and your opinion about it.

Think about it…

·        One person finds public speaking terrifying and stressful, the other exhilarating and empowering.

·        One person finds a sales contest stressful, the other fun.

·        One person finds managing a large company nerve-racking, the other rewarding.

What is different about the actual events or circumstances?  Nada.

Every emotion you have is good or bad by the label YOU have given it.  In the grand scheme of things, there really is no good or bad. It is just an illusion created by the opinion you or others (that you have accepted) have given it.

·        One person is petrified of heights, another finds it elating and blissful so they jump from airplanes, hang glide or rock climb.

·        One person fears the ocean, another finds it tranquil and invigorating so they dive, surf and swim in it.

It’s the same height, same ocean - what’s the REAL difference?  Just your opinion; how you THINK about it.

You can literally change your opinion about an emotion thus eliminate its negative affect onyou.

Let me give you a personal reference...

Someone once said to me, “Point out the most successful person in the room and you will also be pointing out the biggest failure.  Success is an outcome of successive failings. Be willing to fail the most and you will be the most successful.” - This is one of the best success philosophies I was ever taught.

When I was in real estate, failure meant facing rejection. So I decided to change my view about rejection. I decided to love rejection. I changed my opinion and behavior from fear and avoidance to loving and seeking it. Since I wanted massive success, I realized I NEEDED to get massive rejection.

Getting rejection became my primary objective. I set my daily productivity by the number of rejections I needed to obtain before ending the day.

Questions changed from, “How can I avoid rejection?" to, "How can I get rejected the most and the fastest?”  In real estate the fastest way is door knocking (yes, door to door). 

For 4-8 hours a day I would walk the streets until I could successfully get 50 people to reject me.  People would slam the door in my face, yell obscenities, sick their dog on me, have little kids throw rocks at me, etc. I would simply smile in delight because I got to put an X on my pad and was that much closer to being done. 

"To double your rate of success, double your rate of failure" -Watson of IBM

I started to love rejection, so much that I went to the most feared rejection sources of prospecting: For Sale By Owners and Expired Listings.

Since I decided to love rejection, I prospected more than anyone and was rejected more than anyone and guess what? I not only became #1 in an office of 30-year veterans, but #1 in the entire city of a market of 3,000 real estate agents (I was only 20 years old).

I tell you this story as a testimony.  A testimony that what I am telling you works. You can change your opinion about something you once feared or found stressful into something that you love and find empowering.  The only difference is the label you give it and your opinion about it.

Key questions for life-change:

What stresses you out?  What if you chose to enjoy that activity rather than be stressed by it? How would that change your “stress level”?

What do you fear most?  What fears are limiting your success?  How can you change your opinion of it and release your potential from bondage?

Be fooled no longer! Free yourself from the illusionary shackles your mind has placed on the vivacious and powerful being that you are - liberate your greatness! 

-Darren Hardy

Coming up next… Don’t be a blowhard! You are NOT unique J